Widowhood has never been a subject I wanted to experience, yet alone talk about.
This has been the hardest pill I have ever had to swallow and to be honest know matter how hard I try it still doesn't want to go down.
Today makes 4 months and 18 days since my bae transitioned to his heavenly home. To be honest I'm at a lost for how I got this far without him. Guess this is what Author Margaret Fishback Powers poem foot prints in the sand refers to, this is where GOD must be carrying me, I can't give any credit to my own the strength.
For so long my friends and family saw me as such a woman of strength. They day he passed, somehow I exchanged strength for overwhelming sadness, though I never recall signing up for it.
So, DeWanna what would you tell a new widow to help her navigate through her first few months of widowhood?
Sis, I am so sorry for your loss.
Below are a few things that may help you as your processing your new normal.
- The fog your feeling is normal. Making a list of things you need to take care of will help you during moments of low mind visibility.
- Many will ask, what do you need. Depending on how you keep your pantry filled I found that asking for people to refill my pantry was better than a frig filled with buckets of chicken. Also plenty of tissue boxes for the late night tears when no ones around, and household cleaning supplies was a great help.
- Don't be to hard on your friends and family, they will do their best. Just remember it is your new world, theirs haven't changed. So they may not relate to what your going through.
- Take time to jot down things fresh memories. So you will never forget them. Pen and paper will hold them for years to come. No grammar checks needed just get the thoughts on paper so you will always have them.\
- Request prayers for strength, you will need them.
Father in the name of JESUS I thank you for the life me and my loved one shared. Thank you for every memory we experienced together, thank you for every answered prayer, thank you for the trials we overcame that made us stronger. Thank you that just as you never left me before, you have not left me now. Father I ask for strength where I am weak. Father heal my broken hearted and give me joy in exchange for mourning. Father I ask you to help me to cast all of my cares and concerns upon you. For your word promises you care for me, You said; Your yoke is easy and your burdens are light. You also said to come unto you all who are heavy burdened and I will give you rest. Since the passing of my love one Father sleep has been hard for me, can you help me to rest in your arms? Touch my mind LORD and give me my mind peace that surpasses all understanding. LORD as I like David make my bed a pool of water from my tears, I ask you to bottle up my tears and wipe away the excess as you said you would. Father when I feel so alone I ask that you would hold my right hand saying fear not you will help me. When the nights are filled with loneliness and my family and friends have turned away, Father I ask that you would stick closer to me than a brother as you promised you would. You promised you are nigh to the broken hearted, help me to trust you are here, though I feel your far away. When my faith wavers because of the pain, Father teach me how to trust you again. The times in which I feel I don't know which way to turn, please order my steps. Never allow me to fall out of your hands continue to keep your angels whom excel in strength around me. Hide me in the secret place under the shadow of your wings. Though I can no longer feel the warmth of his embrace I ask Father that your loving kindness would be my daily portion. Take the scales of mourning off my eyes so that I can see your here. In Jesus Name.