For the longest I have avoided writing a blog to share my journey of widowhood with you. Mainly because  I loved writing about marriage, it has been a sheer joy to share with you tips that worked in my marriage.

Widowhood has never been a subject I wanted to experience, yet alone talk about. 

This has been the hardest pill I have ever had to swallow and to be honest know matter how hard I try it still doesn't want to go down.          

 May my journey through widowhood help you take one more step as you navigate through the loss of your loved one.

My prayer is that GOD strengthens you as he has done for me. 

I know that life can be full of twist and turns and at times up and downs nevertheless you are not alone. 

When life heats up all around us Jesus is in the middle of the fire with us. 

You can make it. 

Feel free to leave me a comment or a prayer request. You are not alone. 
​
DeWanna Whtted 

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I was so tired I didn't know if I could even muster up the strength to  make it, Sunday. Though I knew  this was Spring Revival at my moms church. And deep in my heart I knew the joy it would bring her to look out into the audience an see her knee baby girls face.

With my body being so jaded from work I really didn't know if I could pull it off.

All I wanted to do was sleep. ​

 What's the secret? 
 
Today, I was asked a simple yet powerful question.

What is the secret to a successful marriage? 

I pondered this question for a second, then I responded. 

In every marriage there is a hidden vault. A vault that holds things for safe keeping. You and your hubby or vice versa are the only two who have access within the marriage to enter in.

The thing is, this vault can be the most prized possession in your marriage. Storing sacred memories, treasured moments, amazing adventures, years of hugs and kisses, your youthfulness, your strength. 

Funny how every marriage goes through the seasons of for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and in health til death do us part. 

Not long ago I found this vault in my heart filled with goodies I never knew existed. It was if it revealed itself when I needed it most. 

See, life throws us some blows at times. The kinda of blow that truly can leave us down for the count. It literally takes someone from the audience screaming get up, get up, to cause us to keep fighting. 

For me it has been the sweet experiences I hid in my heart. My husband has been through a lot in his health. Causing some of the memories we could have been creating to pause for a sec. 

But GOD in his ultimate wisdom gave me a key. To precious moments from yesteryear. 

He showed me that every good experience in my marriage has been stored in the vault. So I took the key and unlocked the door.

To my amazement,
The tears streaming down his face as I walked down the isle. Roses, candy and balloons. Dinner dates, walks in the park with him holding my hand. I saw many nights with phones lying on the pillows left behind as we fell asleep. I saw so many cards with hearts encircling our names. Tears that fell from our faces as each daughter was born.  I saw the times he would hire people to purchase me gifts when he couldn't be here to get them for me. I saw the times he pushed our daughters on their first bicycle ride promising to not let them fall. I saw hospital rooms where he wouldn't leave my side. I saw how I he has always been by my side wiping away my tears as we closed the coffin to love ones so dear. The list truly does go on and on.

When seasons has change as they do, take time to open the vault. Go in and rest a while. Look back at all the precious moments that you once shared.

Don't forget what brought you together as the seasons change. 

Just like spring offers us sweet smelling flowers. The Fall has something beautiful too. So let's not get caught up in what were missing.

Join me as I embrace all that I have. 

A man that loves me in spite of my short comings, still sees me through eyes of his youth and loves me more today than he did yesterday. 
Allow your love to continue to grow. 

Fill you love vault daily it is a treasure to behold. 

Have you had an experience that has caused you to go into to the vault of your heart and bring up treasures? If so I would love to hear about it. Leave me a comment below.

At first glance the obvious is true.
You see a cross, some hills, clouds, fog and green grass, and ocean too.
Look closer laser your focus to the cross.
​Now what do you see?
​I know, again the obvious but look closer.
​These are simply two pieces of wood nailed together to form a cross.
​Just like marriage, two people joined together forming a cross.
​Hmmm....see it now?
​See how different these two pieces are.
​One a little rugged the other more knotted.
​Nevertheless these two are fastened together with simply some nails.
​Nails that have penetrated the surface went past the core and directly through to the other with the same level of penetration,
​If that wood could talk, it would probably scream due to the level of pain it takes to hold them together.
​But after years and years of being tried in the fire I'm here to tell you it's not.
​Don't get me wrong I absolutely, unconditionally, unapologetically love and adore my hubby.

​However I have learned a few things from marriage.

Lesson 1. We are two different people

​Lesson 2. I must humble myself at times for the better meant of marriage

​Lesson 3. It takes two to tango ( we must both be willing to work on it)

​Lesson 4.Love will truly cover a multitude of sins

(It really is ok, that he didn't take the trash out last night, as long as he gets to it sooner than later).

​These lessons were sharp for me. But the more I was willing to work on me I found that my relationship with my hubby was no longer parallel but we had intersected forming the Cross.

​Thank you Lord for saving me.
​Dee.




​

A tug of War.

One of the greatest tricks used against marriage is the tug of war. We so struggle with the idea of dying to our flesh, allowing the two become one as the bible calls us to do. In order for us to win the battles we face in marriage is for both sides to put down the rope and stop pulling against one another and realize that you will win the battle when you fight together. Your marriage team is unstoppable when you bring your forces together.
DewannaWhitted.com

 Sitting on the couch when my daughter entered the room.

Little did I know she was ready to impart some wisdom into her at the time stubborn mom.

For some odd reason me and my hubby had a disagreement over something trivial, one that left both of us not in the mood to apologize.

My daughter over heard the discussion and came to her own conclusion.

Her conclusion was that one of us had to be the bigger person and simply say, I'm sorry.

The thing is she was more concerned with me doing it, than her dad. I couldn't understand at the time why it had to be me. But the more I pondered on her advice I cam to the conclusion myself that it was more important to be back on One Accord with my hubby, my bff, myself. Yes, I said myself.

The bible says that when we marry the two become one. So in reality to be mad with him was and is to be mad with myself.

I wish I could tell you I jumped right up and ran to apologize, but No. Remember I said, I was being stubborn. At the time the thought of this 11 year old doesn't tell me what to do was permeating my brain.
Shortly thereafter I fell asleep. Awakened around 4 am Father, GOD woke me up.
 
Laying there in the dark looking up at the ceiling fan spinning in a circle. I started thinking how silly the disagreement was, when this scripture kept came to mind.

Don't let the sun go down on your wrath.

The more I thought about it, I realized I was acting as if tomorrow was promised to both of us.  In reality that's not promised to anyone. If something happened to him before I could have apologized, my heart would have been crushed. I love that man. No matter how mad I was at the time. So I had to make a choice to either continue to allow our love for one another to flow freely or to allow it to be blocked by anger.
 You guessed it. I apologized. Just in case your wondering and enjoyed open lines of communication once again. Yay, GOD! 

Guess all of the training we have done with our children has positioned them to lead us when we can't see clearly how to lead ourselves...

Have your every had your children walk in more wisdom than you?

DeWanna Whitted